John Selkirk
Carol. I’m going to miss your smile.
I’m going to miss your scrunched up face, wide grin, beaming blue eyes and sparkling smile.
I’m going to miss your humour, politically incorrect or not, I’m going to miss it.
But mostly, I’m going to miss your laugh.
Your loud contagious laugh filled the air and let the world know how happy you were to be alive.
I have memories of your laugh.
Of you spitting tea across the breakfast table while laughing, Struggling to say some apparently witty comeback but the laughter preventing it, which only made it funnier.
Chuckling about if “our people” were happy as they filed out of the subway below our balcony on Denton.
Or just laughing at the little bumps life threw in our way.
I’ll have these memories, but I’m really going to miss that laugh.
Carol
You were a good sister.
In a crisis you were always there and now there seems to be no one here to fill your shoes.
Thank you for Christine. You introduced me to the love of my life and to the only person that could laugh as good as you could.
Leonard together you and carol made an amazing couple.
You raised 3 fine children, developed a business, and had a life full of adventure after a life full of a lot of hard work,
And in this time of mourning the biggest crutch I have to lean on is the fact that although her time was cut short there was a lot of living in those 60 years. Her family helped her cram a lot of that living in.
And for that I thank you.
Alison Selkirk
Carol.
My sister Carol was the most creative person I’ve known.
Her talents and enthusiasm for creating were with her from the very beginning, She doubtlessly got this from our Mom.
From a young age, her creativity was most evident in the games we played … When it came to Carol and I playing together it was Barbies, Barbies and Barbies!
We didn’t just “play Barbies” either. Here are just a couple of examples.
Carol decided that if we got Christmas presents, then so should Barbie, Ken and the rest of them too.
She and I gift wrapped and labeled tiny packages containing Barbie clothes and accessories and just about anything miniature that we thought Barbie would find useful. She made me wrap and re wrap until they met her high standards of course. These we placed under an impeccably decorated miniature Christmas tree where they sat until Christmas!
Carol also organized a vacation for Barbie and the gang. No – not just to the backyard either. We loaded Barbie and company into our second hand Barbie Camper and pushed them about a kilometer away, if I remember correctly. Carol thought it’d be easier if I pushed the camper because I was shorter and wouldn’t have to bend down so far. We parked the van next to a creek with a waterfall so Barbie could visit Niagara Falls.
As we grew up, Carol’s creativity combined with enthusiasm, effort and endless energy. I wish you could have seen some of the amazing school projects she handed in – no half baked salt dough creations or slapped together cardboard dioramas for her. None of he rest of us could ever complete anything that compared. She even sewed entire stylish outfits for herself… that I was lucky enough to receive as hand me downs.
As an adult, Carol never shied away from tackling new things. These chairs need new seat covers??? I’ll make some!. These windows need curtains? – I’ll make some… I need some cool high-wasted parachute pants, no prob. Who needs a sweater? I’ll knit you one! How do you knit socks and mittens.. I think I’ll learn and make some! This backyard needs a garden, well, I’ll learn all I can, and make one of those too… And boy oh boy, did she ever manage that.
Carol’s creativity spilled over into the lives of her friends and family. I know she helped many of her friends organize and execute amazing parties and showers with hand made decorations and favours, She helped may of us plan and plant gardens.
If Carol couldn’t share her creativity in person , she never hesitated to share advice on ways to garden, organize, sew, decorate or landscape, All was valuable and all was appreciated.
One of Carol’s lasts texts to me was that she had just finished making a big pot of chicken soup that she was going to freeze and drive down to me. When I told her it wasn’t necessary, she said, “don’t be silly! I’m always up for a road trip”!
I’m going to miss my sister sharing her many talents and advice with me, especially about gardening, I suppose I’ll have to google it now, and I’m sure that will be a poor substitute.
Like Carol’s children, she has been part of my life for my entire existence. The hole she leaves can never be filled.
Jonathan Harris
I wrote this Mother’s day card 21 years ago and nothing has changed.
Rebecca Harris
Dear Mom.
My girlfriend, greatest supporter and partner in crime.
Thank you for everything you have done for me, You are the best Mom and most badass babe I know.
I wish we didn’t have to be reunited this way. I don’t want to face life without you, but I hope you rest easy knowing that you have given the boys and I the love, values and sense of adventure we need to carry on for you.
I hope one day I can become even half the wo-man you are.
I love you and will always be your girlfriend.
Simon Harris
It goes without saying how shocking and sad it is to have lost my Mom so early and unexpectedly. My Mom was someone who was overflowing with love and energy and was always looking for the positive in other people, She took genuine and caring interest in others, and could make friends with a complete stranger unlike anyone else I’ve known.
She brought positivity and love into this world, and made everyones lives who she encountered just a little bit better. We can take comfort knowing she lived life to its fullest, she had a wonderful family, friends, and husband who meant the world to her.
She lived multiple lifetimes worth of adventures and spent the last few years traveling the world – regardless of what the government or anyone else had to say. She spent her final day doing what she loved, caring for her beautiful and in her words “glorious” garden which she made just as much for others as for herself.
I’m so happy to have had a mother like you, I really could not have asked for someone better.
And although I wish we could have had more time together i am so grateful for the memories we have and know you are in a good place now,
Leonard Harris
If you hear someone saying “words”, its probably Carol telling me to shut up already.
This has been a milestone year for Carol – we celebrated her 60th birthday in January, our 30th anniversary in april (I’m blessed she put up with me for so long and I think she was planning to for at least another 20), and now this.
Carol is my best and oldest friend but I wasn’t her oldest – she still was was close to friends from grade school and unfortunately her oldest friend Rebecca is stuck in England and not able to be here.
On one of our sailing adventures some friends asked us how we met and what attracted us to each other – no doubt because Carol is pretty hot and obviously way of my league. We looked at each other and both said we make each other laugh. A single word or look could make her laugh and and those who spent time with her were forced to have abs and a fresh supply of undies.
She was never worried about being labeled embarrassing or acting silly, because she could see how silly and inconsequential most situations were, yet she was fascinated by people and the dynamics between them.
Her bookshelf was full of biographies, DSM manuals, psychology books. she would talk to homeless people then try to help, she would donate her time and possessions to those who needed.
Her memory for faces, dates, and situations that she had experienced was scary, unlike that for her where she left her sunglasses or keys.
If you became Carol’s friend – which wasn’t very difficult – you had a lifelong (and beyond) loyal supportive friendship that survived long absences. She would pick up right where you left off – probably remember your last conversation, what you were wearing – like it was yesterday.
Carol would always give friends (and thankfully me) second, third, and fourth chances even if she had been hurt or disappointed.
Carol is so accomplished but always understated, downplaying her abilities so her friends could shine – she was a good skier, played tennis, badminton and more recently golf – always pulling amazing shots out of some orifice or another and then casually asking how she looked because she felt that was more important than where the ball went.
Carol was a high school long distance runner, and years ago when the kids were little and a renovation half finished, she decided to do a try – a – tri “mini triathlon”, got a trainer, improved her swimming and made time to complete it with the millions of other things going on.
This was typical – if she set her mind to something – it got done.
She also encouraged others to do the same – the most recent example of this being the sewing sweatshop she established in florida this winter.
She never sat still always making time to help friends and family.
We started biking as a way to go on trips together, and this year she did one of her many reconnaissance trips with friends biking to the Florida keys, so we could do it together next year when I had more time – always make more time!
When I said Carol never bragged about her accomplishments I was wrong – one accomplishment she always bragged about, was her kids.
She loved and is so proud of her big boy Jonathan, her girlfriend and ally Rebecca, and her baby Shimolae.
It started getting a little awkward at times because she had so much to kvell about each of you, nonchalantly mentioning where you were or what you were doing pretending like it was no big deal, pulling out her phone to show pictures of where you were, or trips you had gone on, graduations, her first grand horse – and not because she was competitive or checking off boxes, (to be honest she did love to hear the oh wow’s, and amazings) , but because she was proud of the persons(?), people (?), Peoplekind(?) you have become – able to overcome challenges , intelligent, independent, contrarian thinkers, and achieving a life that’s for you – not what is expected by others for you.
When Ma was being annoying, or telling you to become something other than the challenging goals you had set for yourselves, it wasn’t because she doubted that you could do it, it was because she wanted you to know that it was ok if you didn’t challenge yourselves, there was nothing to prove – as long as you were happy.
She was also selfish in that she wanted you guys around and was afraid of you running off, until she realized you were just doing exactly what she had done at your age and instead this could be another excuse to travel even more to new places to visit you.
Remember her mantras were “I know my limits” and “don’t burn the candle at both ends”- she knew your potential was limitless, but didn’t want you burning out on the way – your happiness and contentment with your lives came first.
Carol was actually looking forward to being a pretty cool old lady and grandmother – she was already nurturing a few endearing old lady traits – unfortunately the one that prevailed was having the heart of a 90 year old in a fit sixty year old body. She would admit that she lived a 90 year life in her short 60 years.
Her last action was relaxing after a morning of gardening ,catching up on emails and texts, mid-text to a cherished friend expressing her concern for her sister’s husband who was in hospital, before getting ready to go for dinner with my sister and brother to sort through old family photos – that is Carol. My sister and brother were hers as well, my parents were as dear to her as her own.
We may not have said I love you as often as we should have, but it didn’t need to be said. Your love will always be a part of me and I would still be that poorly dressed, shy and awkward guy (well at least more than I still am now) without you in my life.
Love ya forever